Jokes for the day

Two Trouble Makers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we took him.

                                                      College Exam Plea

O Lord, hear my anxious plea.Calculus is killing me.I know not of 'dx' or 'dy'.And probably won't until the day I die.Please, Lord, help me in this hour As I take my case to the highest power.I care not for fame or loot.Just help me find one square root.And Lord, please let me see One passing mark in organic chemistry.Oh such a thing I constantly dread.I'd just as soon join the Marines instead.Lord, please give me a sign.That you've been listening all the time.Please lead me out of this constant coma.And give me a shot at my diploma.

                                                       New Office Supplies

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supplydealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'"