Jokes for the day

Getting a Promotion

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion."What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi."Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi."Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest."Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi."If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest."O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."


"And then?" asked the Rabbi.The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope.""Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

Burglars just broke in

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" [Turn from your sin]The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. Then the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an axe and two 38s!"

Seeing a child in need

One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the broom and he told her where it was.She then asked him to please go get it. The little boy informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom.His mother smiled and said 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid'. The little boy opened the back door a little and said 'Lord if you're out there, hand me the broom'.

Have a great day.