Jokes for the day

A sermon about lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." 

Modern world morals

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world."I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?""I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

Learning information

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, 'Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time'.Pat enters the confessional and says,' Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman'.The priest asks, 'was it Mrs Murphy'? 'no, Father', was the reply.'Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was 'No, Father'.
'Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said, Father, I'll not be teling you the lady's name!So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman.Back on the street, Mike said, 'Well, how did you do'? Pat said, 'Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects'! 

Have a blessed day.